"I still catch myself waiting for your message "

 

"I still catch myself waiting for your message "

 

I know that you broke me, but I still catch myself waiting for your message.

I have opened my mail more than I have opened my study books.

 There is this feeling that still linger even after you broke me because before I stopped liking you, I had already loved you till the end of the world.

That feeling keeps telling me that I could give you another chance. But I know that you would break me again.

Yes, you have broken me but why do I keep waiting for you to fix it?

I have no answer for it because I have always imagined you as my endgame and seeing you fade away is like Thor snapping his fingers. Yes, you will finally fade but there will be broken pieces hidden in those sweet memories we had.

Maybe.... After that letter you sent about hating me. I thought I could escape from you but those memories still wrap me - like the smell of your favourite Dahl rice.

But no, They don't disappear. I have your mail and a way of contacting you but... If I do then my self-respect will become nonexistent.

As  time passed even though I still wait for your message I have accepted the fact that you are not my endgame.

You have broken me that is true but there is a part of me that still wants you.

That part that wants you is covered with your lies.

Now I can only think of forgetting and leaving you, and I think I am progressing.

Even though I wait for your message , some part of me doesn't want your message.

My self-conscience keeps pulling me away from you and one day I might stop waiting for you message.

Because I will forget you and move on.

 

- TEJASRI SAGAR LANKA